School Starts

I’ve not been thinking about my stuttering too much lately. Summer has been fun. Lots of time at the beach with family, and a few trips when and where possible. I knew it would go by fast, and it did. Stuttering-wise, not a lot stood out. Maybe because we were still sort of isolating and not talking to too many new folks.

Well, of course that had to end. School has started for the kids. Which means strolling on down to the bus stop with the kids in the morning and standing around until the bus shows up. I’ve not met all my neighbors.

On the first day my wife and I went down and saw a couple who live three houses down. My wife introduced herself to the mother, and I … did not. I just wasn’t feeling it. There was enough other noise and whatnot happening with the kids that maybe it wasn’t noticeable. Maybe I thought she’d introduce me as well? I don’t know. What I do know is that even though I’m more comfortable with my stutter than ever before, I still have days where I don’t want to talk, and where I don’t want to hear myself stutter.

Of course I had to make up for that. Because I was feeling bad inside about it. I get on this blog and tell people it’ll be ok, and it’s ok to stutter, and now here I am not even opening my mouth.

This morning another stroll down to the bus stop, and a neighbor who I hadn’t talked to. My wife introduced herself. I jumped in after, stuttering really hard on my first name. Eyes closed, starting, stopping, starting, stopping, breathing all out of whack. Ugh. Finally got it out.

He stood there, patiently waiting.

When he heard my name, all he asked was, “Rehan with an R-E, or an R-A?”

I said “R-E.”

He replied that he was going to a wedding this weekend for a friend who was named Rayhan.

And that was it. I got my name out. I learned his name. We made a connection. Life didn’t end. My brain got back on board with introducing myself and not freaking out about how things may turn out.


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