FAQs

1. When did you start stuttering?

When I was 7, I remember distinctly sitting in second grade and trying to say the word “eye” as I told a quick anecdote. I don’t remember any speaking difficulties during kindergarten or first grade. But after second grade, things changed.

2. Are there certain sounds that you always stutter on?

No, not even my name. I mean, that’s the worst, of course, especially during introductions. But I can say it without stuttering now and again. As anybody who stutters knows, this is the most frustrating part.

3. What do you friends/family/colleagues/strangers think of your stuttering?

I don’t know. But I do care. Which is why I’ve never talked about it. Until now. The older I get, the less I worry about what other people think about my stutter. I think that if I focus on the message, they will as well.

4. Has your stutter gotten better or worse over the years?

Both. Thinking back, I think there were probably months or years where it wasn’t an issue. And then there are long stretches where it seems I can’t say anything and am frustrated all the time. Right now I think I’m somewhere in the middle. Update — since going to the NSA conference and accepting my stutter more, I am definitely stuttering more. But I’m communicating better. Does that even make sense? Yes, it does — I’m saying what I want to say, when I want to say it. And if it takes a little longer to come out, so be it.

January 2020 update — for the past two years, my stuttering hasn’t been too bad. I advertised when I got my latest job, and that seems to have reduced a lot of stress. I never have to think if someone is worry about what’s wrong with me.

January 2024 update — for the past four years, my stuttering hasn’t been too bad either. I am advertising a lot more – pretty much before any group discussion at work — and am more confident and comfortable with my work and family life.

5. What treatments/therapies have you tried?

Not much, just speech therapy during school and then Pagoclone during its trials. I refuse to try anything that I have to pay for up front or that someone says will “cure” stuttering. There is no cure for stuttering, and I have come to grips with that. Until there is a drug or therapy that’s scientifically proven on a large group, I’ll continue to stutter, and I’ll continue to get through life. Some days will be better than others.

6. Do you think stuttering has held you back in any way during your life?

Yes and no. I’m very happy with where I am in life and with my career and choice. But during the past few years as I’ve started to write down more thoughts on stuttering (my own notes) I’ve come to see that many of the decisions I’ve made — big and small — are rooted in my inability to speak at times. That’s what a large part of this blog is centered on — not just talking about speaking situations, but how those add up over time to create the person we are. I think a young person reading this site might identify with my background and subsequent decisions. And be more aware of how much is really dictated by the effects of stuttering.

7. Why this blog now?

For the past half-dozen or more years, I had this idea that I would write a book about my life and stuttering. So I’ve got several hundred handwritten and typed pages already of notes and daily observations. But I was beginning to see that a coherent book was a huge effort and not going to happen. I thought doing a book first and a blog to accompany it would be best. Now I think the other way around is better. That being said, I’ve tried my hand at blogging (other things) before and failed miserably after a few short months. With as many notes as I have on stuttering though, I should be able to power on for longer.

Update: Through these posts so far, I’ve written about 100,000 words. So that’s nearly a book anyway.

8. What was your worst day as a stutterer, and your best?

Worst day is easy — I had to get up in front of almost 400 people about ten years ago and introduce myself. Everybody at the conference was introducing themselves, and my heart was pounding as the microphone made its way to me. I could barely get my name out, and a woman standing behind me just laughed at me. Not a happy moment. As for the best, it’s hard to say — anytime I can command a small meeting confidently or get through a phone call is a huge win. There are also many times that come up where I feel the need to add commentary in a meeting — and press on even if it means stuttering through it.

9. Are you worried about labeling yourself as someone who stutters?

Well, the funny thing of course is that everybody I know knows I stutter. But we just never talk about it. I guess the concern I have is that I don’t want anybody to treat me any differently because I do. I think that’s been another concern in the back of my mind about starting this blog.

10. Why don’t you have a (specific social media) account?

Since there’s no cure for stuttering, this is a long conversation. I’m more interested in cultivating a community on the site and through very limited social media. I’d rather do a post, get some e-mails or comments on it, and then continue it the following week. I’m not here to respond every time when some celebrity makes a swipe at stuttering or it’s portrayed negatively in the media. Those things shall pass. I also know that stuttering is very, very personal. This approach allows people to engage on their own terms.

11. Why are you posting about things that happened to you years and years ago?

Even if they happened to me years and years ago, they could be happening to someone today. Of course there are a lot of changes with technology and texting and whatever else, but a conversation with someone is always going to be the same.

12. Where does the inspiration come from for these posts?

Aside from past experience, I read a lot of articles online that usually inspire me to post. I might wonder out loud about what a certain job would be like, or how I’d deal with a specific situation. I’ve noticed over the years as someone who stutters I spend a lot of time running through conversations in my mind — what might be said, when it could be said, how it will be uttered. Mostly of course this is to chart a course so I can safely navigate through by avoiding words. Or talking. Not always the best approach, of course. And while I’ve gone through a lot myself, I hope that by reaching out I can see and talk about what others deal with on a daily basis. I’m like anybody else – always wondering about awkward situations, trying to figure out what to say, what to do, how to act. I think even people who are fluent have this kind of anxiety.

13. What’s your commenting policy?

If it doesn’t add value to the conversation, it gets deleted. Be nice.

14. Where are you on your Stuttering Journey?

Acceptance. There’s no cure for stuttering, and I know some days will be better than others. I’ve come to accept those major tenets, and it’s really changed everything for me. I wrote a whole series on Acceptance. I am able to go up in front of strangers and tell them that I stutter now. I was not able to do that many years ago. That’s made all the difference.

Stuttering FAQs:

The objective of these FAQs is to gather a bunch of frequently asked questions on stuttering — and provide answers through a variety of sources. There is a lot out there, and it’s worth a read.

For now it’s a work in progress. Here are some of the questions. Follow the links for more information…

What is stuttering?

Stuttering is a communication disorder in which the flow of speech is broken by repetitions (li-li-like this), prolongations (lllllike this), or abnormal stoppages (no sound) of sounds and syllables.

Is there a cure?

The short answer is, “no.” From the link: One must be cautious when consulting websites about stuttering treatment. The solutions found online are sometimes supported, to some degree, by science, though more often, not. However, none can offer reliable information about long-term effects of the techniques and products they recommend. Some can be expensive. Many make promises that are unrealistic and misleading. Several websites misrepresent the methods used by SLPs (e.g. medication).

What are the treatments available?

Although there is currently no cure for stuttering, there are a variety of treatments available. The nature of the treatment will differ, based upon a person’s age, communication goals, and other factors. If you or your child stutters, it is important to work with a speech-language pathologist to determine the best treatment options.

What research is out there?

There’s a lot out there, and I need to see if there’s a nice summary anywhere.

What does a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) do?

What are their qualifications and certifications?

Where should I go for help if I’m … a child … a teenager … an adult … a parent.