Overthinking this

Some more on the mentality I talked about yesterday. My brain actually uses a multi-pronged attack to create doubt and fear.

I was also thinking — what if I go to this Stuttering Conference and don’t stutter there? It’s entirely conceivable! I could mumble through an introduction or two, avoid making eye contact, eat alone, avoid the after-hours gatherings …

Ok, first of all, you’re there to listen and to talk and meet people. Even if you shut your yap for five days, you’d still hear people talk about stuttering which is pretty valuable. Especially since you’ve really never heard or read anybody else’s story on it.

Secondly, you’re going to pay and then travel [almost a whole day] to avoid words and be a wallflower? Then why start this blog? Why make this public?

Lastly, that approach might work for a work conference, but not for this. You can be yourself! How great is that? If you want to just go up to someone and talk to them, you can! No need to hold back because you’re afraid of stuttering out your name. Remember those work conferences when you thought, ‘hey, I should go talk to them,’ and didn’t? Well this is the exact opposite of that.

I think what’s really at work here is that this would be my first conference, and I really have no experience or idea of how to meet people randomly and whatnot. I mean, I do, and I’m just afraid to.

Ugh. I’m way overthinking this. As usual. Every time a speaking-heavy engagement comes up, I do this.

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