Talking myself into this

Regarding this conference — it’ll probably require that I talk to people. And as someone who stutters, I really haven’t been a fan of that.

Most of my stuttering life, I’ve shut out things like conferences and social meet-ups because I talk my way through what might happen, decide I don’t need it, and then that’s it. Like for this conference, because of that hard-wired response, it went like this:

So you’ll go there, and you’ll meet someone who stutters. And then what? You’ll talk to each other, realize you’ve been through the same things and then …? What are they going to tell you that you don’t already know? You know there’s no cure, so … what, you’re going to get therapy and solve all your problems in 4 days?

But this is exactly the mentality I need to break out of. The point of this blog. The point of going to an intimidating conference and facing down the fear of talking to strangers spontaneously. And what better conference to make my first? Nobody is going to judge me! Nobody is going to laugh at me when I [can barely] introduce myself! People will laugh knowingly when I get stuck on my name and then point sheepishly to my nametag. They’ll be patient with me!

Alright, this is good. The mental state is changing. Now to clear it with the family and get permission from the boss …

%d bloggers like this: